By
Bob Phibbs
Updated 12/1/24
My parents divorced when I was 11. For a long time, I felt there was something I could have done to prevent it. I thought I had some magical power to change the circumstances, which I guess is common in children of divorce.
The feeling that the past could somehow have been different.
Life has taught me that letting go and acknowledging what is leads to a more productive life.
I have a quiz on my site: Is It Time To Fire This Employee? It is a popular quiz, and the responses have stayed pretty much the same from the thousands of submissions over the years.
The five most common reasons responders cite for wanting to get rid of a team member are:
- Attitude (Bad, rotten, rude, negative)
- Doesn’t listen (To supervisors, to customers, to other workers)
- Lazy
- Sales (low, missing goals, can’t close)
- Miss too much work (for a variety of reasons)
Only 35% of managers give the offender at least one written performance review:
Even when a manager knows that the work relationship is not working, they do nothing to fix it.
Usually because of fear.
Fear that the worker will be upset or cause a scene.
However, the real reason more retail managers don’t give performance reviews, and much less fire their underperformers, is their fear of rejection.
Let me explain…
You expect to bond with new team members when you hire them. They satisfy your needs – not just as a salesperson but also as someone you look forward to working with.
Your energy and theirs are a match.
As time goes by, those energies should grow so that you both begin to trust each other and truly enjoy working together, just like in any relationship.
Yet when the associate doesn’t do their job or doesn’t treat you with respect, you feel as rejected as a lover.
It hurts in some ways because you trusted them to do the job, and they either can’t or don’t want to.
But the longer you ignore their behavior, the more it will hurt you and your sales.
Here’s how to handle it:
Write a performance review when you know the relationship is not working out.
Be brutally honest with yourself first, especially if the thought of potentially firing this team member is tearing you up inside.
Is it the associate's back story that is bothering you?
Do you sympathize with their situation, so you’re willing to accept their excuses?
None of that matters. Give at least one performance review (I prefer two at most). Then, if you don’t see the results you’re looking for, you must fire them, no matter how hard it is.
I had a woman call me in tears because she couldn’t bear the thought of firing her best friend; she hoped I would do it for her.
Instead of focusing on any of that, I want you to focus on cutting the bond you feel you are breaking.
Sit in a chair and take several deep breaths. Visualize your associate.
If you are really fond of the person—not the performance—imagine yourself holding hands, or a piece of rope or a bolt of energy between you. The important thing is to visualize a physical connection between you and this employee.
Once you have that picture, see the employee - not you - releasing their hand.
Or see the employee cutting the rope or stopping the energy bolt on their side.
You must realize that they severed the relationship, not you.
When you can see that, it’s time for that conversation.
This is the final straw. Keep it quick, short, and to the point. Remain standing. Have their check already prepared. Hand it to them and say, “Your services are no longer needed.”
In Sum
It is never easy to leave a relationship. Too many times, we don’t acknowledge that we have a relationship with all of our team at some level.
When they can’t or won’t perform to your standards…
When you’ve trained them to be able to meet or exceed your standards…
And they haven’t – employee performance management means it is up to you to help them move on.
I once had to fire a guy on Christmas Eve. Was it easy? No. Did I enjoy it? No.
When he yelled back to me across a crowded store, “Merry F)(*ing Christmas,” was it hard to hear? Of course.
I do have a heart.
But I knew he would go on to do something he really wanted to do. Twenty-five years later, I am happy to tell you that he is an executive working on The Ellen Show.
What would have happened if I hadn’t seen more harm in keeping him than in helping him move on?
Who knows, but one thing is clear: If I hadn’t separated the friend from the performance, he might never have reached his goal.
