By
Bob Phibbs
Updated October 2, 2024
From bizarre to downright funny, retail workers encounter unique customer requests that can make even the busiest day a bit more entertaining.
These unexpected moments not only break up the routine but also remind us of the unpredictable nature of customer service.
While some interactions can be challenging, testing a retail team’s patience and problem-solving skills, retail frontline workers often get some of the oddest and funniest requests.
I asked my followers on Facebook to share, and wow, did they!
Some were for products you'd never think that retailer would carry...
Others revolved around odd situations in their personal lives...
And some, of course, had sexual innuendo.
See how many you've heard yourself while working in retail...
Here are 100 of the strangest things customers have asked retailers:
- Jason Hall: Do you work here?
While wearing a radio headset, a logo’d lanyard a name tag and immediately following them seeing me help another customer. - Monica Gotshall: When do they turn the smoke on in the mountains?
We are near the entrance to The Great Smoky Mountain National Park. - Heather Summers: Do you want to sell my old sofa?
I sell furnishings but all new. No consignment. - Jennifer Brady: Do you have a helicopter land once a month to drop down some food and supplies?
We live on an island. - Stacey Scannell: They wanted to take off their shoes and show me their extra-large toenails so I could see what they were working with. They also got angry when I wouldn’t let them open each pair of clippers—we have to “sample” them before buying.
- Jason Zandbergen: Is this dryer loud? If so, my cat will not like it, and I will not buy it.
- Mathieu Rayburns Raymond: If it was a coincidence that there were 51 flags on the border of the map he wanted to frame, the exact same number of Heinz products available in Germany.
- Julia Clara: Can you try this on for me?
I am buying this for my mom, for her to wear to her funeral. - Melissa Briggs: Do you have a place I can dump my bacon grease?
I own a garden center. - Thor Karlsen: After closing time, with the lights off, a customer knocked on the locked door, asking if I was open.
- Juliana Stokes Bender: Who are you voting for in the presidential election, and then giving me a hard time when I wouldn’t tell.
- Andrea Moore: I have a favorite set of scrubs at home, can you help me find them?
But they have no idea what brand, size or style they have. - Ellen Lyle: Where are your security cameras?
- Suzanne McDonald Sullivan: In a lingerie store, "Do you have prosthetic legs?"
- Randall Benton: Where did you get the recipe for this colored granite?
- Michelle Shevill: Do you sell chin pads for dogs?
While in a sports store. - Sara Ruholl: I own an embroidery boutique. You pick it out, and we will personalize it.
A customer asks what kind of machine I have, what thread do you use, and where I can buy wholesale. She is thinking of starting her own business. - Kerry Derby Wood: Do you sell ADULT toys too?
- Craig Williams: My goldfish is used to a small tank, will it be ok if I put it in a deeper one? He's not used to the water being that deep.
- Cheryl Chyinski Dolloff: How do you get semen stains off my couch? My wife is going to kill me.
- Nelda Carnley: I would like the price of this purse but it has some stuff in it.
I told her, Madam, that is my purse. It was on the floor under a shelf in my booth. But she still wanted a price! - Pamela Wall Barnes: How much money do you make?
- Robert Palleja: A physician once asked me the difference between oil and vinegar… I thought he was yanking my chain, but he wasn’t.
- Robert Nied: Do the lobsters come from the lake?
Worked at a restaurant in high school next to a lake in the Poconos. - Annie Looysen: Where are your kids while you are working here?
- Lauren Klopfenstein: You look like you would have sexy feet. Can I see them?
- Richard Harfield: Can you tell me who sang “Green Green Grass of Home”?
- Tim Reilly: Do you have any cell phones that absorb radiation, like the stealth bomber? Granted, he was mentally disturbed and the police eventually had to take him away after he stripped down to his boxer shorts and was shooting imaginary basketballs.
- Cindy Abernethy: Where can I buy a good cigar?
I own a YARN shop. He just came in to ask that. Not like he was with someone who was shopping or anything. - Jesse Heiman: I used to work for Radio Shack and got asked for anything from washing machine parts to dynamite.
- Rachel Anne: Why does your pet shop smell like dog food?
- Ron Desi: Trying to keep this PG-13...So, I do videos for small businesses, products, etc. One guy had a "male enhancement pill" and asked if I could record in my underwear. If I had a "big one," great. But if not, could I "put a cucumber in my underwear." I did not take this job.
- AngienRoger Keen: My business is named The Painted Peacock. I paint furniture and sell home decor. I had a customer ask why I didn’t sell peacocks.
- Paul Devilbiss: Are your nuts fresh?
- Justin Tedford: I was in the camera business for almost eight years as a manager. Lady walks in wants to talk to a manager. Her gripe you ask? Why I didn’t sell cell phones. I politely said Verizon is next door.
- Carrie Rosenquist: A dude asked me to measure the inseam of the pants he was wearing.
- Shane Little: Can a whiskey age in a bottle?
- Jamie Ford Gray: While working at a Victoria's Secret, a man came in to buy a gift for his wife. He decided to buy a bra set. I asked what size she was. He held up his hands and said " this big". Now imagine his hands- he was holding up his hands in a "cupping" way!
- Margo Lemons Dueber: Where do they store the sandcastles in the winter?
- Thomas Fasshauer: Are you open Saturday?
- Laury Baker: Do you know how to speak alien? I do... they talk to me.
- Laury Baker: How big is the 16" pizza?
- Crista Gunther: Are you gonna clean up my dog's poop? It crapped in the aisle.
I proceeded to give her a garbage bag and paper towels and spray cleaner. The dog wasn’t allowed in the store in the first place. People have nerve. - Emily Zick Carvalho: I got an email yesterday asking if we sold Christmas decorations. We’re called The Christmas Shoppe.
- Annika Benitz Chaloff: Bra shop: customer lifts up shirt. “What size am I?”
- Janet Beard: This comment is more funny than strange. (We are a large gift/apparel store). A male shopper came in and said “This store is just like Las Vegas, you’ve got bright lights, pretty women, and you can spend all the money you want to.
- Gail Lynn Miller: As a pharmacy tech, a young man of about 18 once asked me for assistance in finding something. I walked to the area and discreetly pointed to the section. He then asked, “What size do you think I need to get?” I don’t know whose face was redder!
- Tyler Camella: What’s the difference between regular and decaf coffee?
- Tammy Lynn Trossbach: A product was named "Nut Munch". The customer while laughing, " Nut munch. Do you have a hard time saying that?"
- Allison Peyton: We are a shoe store. A lady asked me if we sold a pair of shoes every day. I told her I’d shut down if I didn’t.
- Marilyn Halpin: "If I pay for this repair, how do I know that it will be fixed?"
Um, that's what we do here sir. - Heather Summers: I had a customer tell me she was looking for something but wanted Kohl’s pricing. I told her to go to Kohl’s.
- Jennifer Dicke: Are these clothes made in China? Because I don't want to wear trackers.
- Tara Wariner: I was asked if I wanted to take a ride on a guy’s motorcycle with him… right after he bought his wife a solid gold Pandora bracelet for their anniversary. I had to pass on the invitation.
- Judy McInis Coelho: How many days do I have to work to qualify for unemployment?
- Donna McCollough: I had a guy ask if we carried Penthouse magazine - we are a Christian book & gift store.
- Alla Calderon: How much are you? Can you do it tomorrow?
(We do balloon decor. The customer was looking for a balloon twister for her child's party.) - Victoria Renehan: When I sold shoes I loved it when people would hold up a displayed shoe and ask;
do you have this in my size? - Molly Brown Jaber: Can you give us directions to get to the Tillamook Head lighthouse?
- Angie West Gunter: I can get that at Walmart for that price.
Then go to Walmart. - Melanie Buckingham: Do you have anything that isn’t ugly?
- Ryan Raffuse: I was once propositioned for a sexual encounter in exchange for a discount on a radio-controlled car.
- Sharon Bernth: As a supervisor at the Home Care agency I worked for, I received a call asking if I was in charge of bad service.
- Denise Lukavic: They asked me why their foot got wet in their waterproof open-toe sandals.
- Ivan Salamon: Can you do a copy of my key? (Home key).
We own a computer/hobby shop, so we get this question asked regularly. Maybe it's because they see the USB key on Google? - James Anthony Hall: Why is my size six shoe so huge on my foot?
The customer read the tag upside down and tried on a size 9. - Edward J Wright: Can you transport illegal Labrador puppies across the Mexican border?
- Matt Miller: Why do these ribs have so many bones? Why is the frozen margarita so cold? Do you have red-flavored Kool-aid?
- Hal Lieberman: Customer: Can I have a cup of ranch?
(after the customer was done eating)
Me: Why?
Customer: I like to drink it - Olga Sander: Can you give me a discount on this hat as I’m going to wear it very rarely?
- Rune Larsen: "Is there gluten in the potato?
- Nancy Erhardt: I didn’t send my payment in but why did my policy cancel?
- Vicki Kutner: I need to return my $5000 order. It didn’t sell. This is 6 months after the purchase.
- Bronwyn Sebesta: Can you marble this steak for me?
- Tim Paul: Do you sell pianos?
Our store name is Piano Trends. - Hans Masing: Customer: "Uhhh, what kind of toy store is this?
Me: "If you have to ask, we're not the one you're looking for." - Paul Bromm: The ingredients for time travel potion.
Yes, really. - Shirley Nixon
Is there any meat in the chicken pie, as my daughter is a vegetarian? - Alex Job
What is it like to be lefthanded? I got that question a lot when we did handwritten invoices. - Leslie Genszler
A customer asked me to read their palm. I was selling pottery at the time. - Jason Von Glahn
How did you learn to talk so fast? - Mary Carkin: My husband is an artist and we carry items in our store with his drawings of animals on them. An expectant couple asked him to tell them what their unborn child's spirit animal would be.
- Marlo Miyashiro: A customer walks in on a mission and says, "I'm looking for shoelaces. The round ones not the flat ones."
Our store is The Handmade Showroom. And no, we do not have shoelaces, artisanal or otherwise. - Jim D'Amico: I was once asked by a young woman who lifted up her top and asked "How do you like these?"
- Al Sanders: Why aren’t your newspapers fire-proof
- Sharon Elizabeth: She gave me her kids back-to-school list, said she had to go somewhere else and could I find the items while she was gone?
I worked at Target. - Andrea Styers: If I wore contacts because of my eye color. I know I’m not the only person who has blue eyes! Look at my kids…
- Michael Kline: So, the orchard is outside?
- George Nelson: How could I put her on hold when she called? What if she were calling in a 'bomb threat'? Then how would I have acted?
I said I take calls in the order they come in, how may I help you? - Diane Sechrist: At the airport. Puts a boarding pass in my face and says, " What do I do with this?
- Christine Benevides: A customer asked me if we sold cat milk for kittens.
I said to her...am I on Ellen? Lol - Jason Brown: Can they exchange an unworn item in their closet for the newest version?
I answered, “No, why not just start wearing it?” - Julie Godfrey: Was the mountain here when Walt bought the lot??
1965 - Janet Olson: Asked me where the KY Jelly was located in the store. I told him in aisle 6 next to the peanut butter. LOL. Don't try to shock someone smarter than you. LOL
- Ray Allen: I got a mannequin down off of a stand so i could take an item off of it for a customer. As I was doing so, I apologized to the customer for having to put my hand in the crotch of the mannequin to set it down securely. The female customer replied, “That’s okay. I just came from the gynecologist. It looks like you have great technique as well!”
- Deanna Bogdan Solomon: I was a store manager at Barnes and Noble for many years. A lady brought a dead cat into the store and asked me where the pet medical books were located because her cat was “in a coma.”
It was clearly dead. - Becky Kienzle: These two couples asked me to engrave a plate with the words "Dead Pool." Apparently, their group of friends bets on the number of celebrities who die during the year. The couple with the closest guess wins the trophy. That being said, I convinced them to add a Skull and crossbones design to go with it. They loved it!!!...
- Mary Carkin: A woman looked at the industrial-sized HVAC pipes hanging from our ceiling and wanted to know if that tube carried hot water to our local hot springs pool.
- Joanne Smida: Is the squirrel in your store a pet squirrel?
We had a baby squirrel in our store and advised people when they came in. After three days, it was safely removed. - Melissa Moore Wilson: I was a manager at Lowe’s. The customer wanted to buy “peach paint.” Ok, I helped her look at the sample cards for a color she liked. Ah…no. The color needed to say “peach,” and no matter how hard I tried, she didn’t understand that people pick out something they like the look of, and that’s about it. This went on for 20 minutes.
It's easy to see why so many retailers shared with me on my Facebook page as many of the comments seemed to come out of thin air.
When you're shopping at a store, remember the times you might have said something weird or wacky to a retailer - then think before you speak and maybe add just a bit of explanation.
